Cliff 'Red' Jones
My dad, Clifford 'Red' Jones, pitching for the Alpine Cowboys ca 1956

Soon we will be rescued from two months of ho-hum televised sports viewing with opening of the baseball season. Huzzah!

I know, I know, baseball has an image problem. The fan base is shrinking. Many consider it boring. You know what? I don't care. I feel the same way about certain sports, so, non-baseball fans, I share your pain. You watch your stupid boring sport, and I'll watch something worth watching. How anyone who watched the final game of the 2016 World Series thinks baseball is boring is beyond me. But I digress.

Okay, full disclosure: I have powerful, sentimental motivation to follow a sport that admittedly can be a bit of a slog if you're not familiar with the game. My dad was a multi-sport athlete in high school and earned a baseball scholarship to Sul Ross University in Alpine, Texas (my birthplace). Alpine is out in the far west mountainous triangle-shaped frontier of Texas. Back then it was just a wide spot on the road. but it was a real baseball hotspot due to the obsession of wealthy rancher Herbert Kokernot. Dad played for Mr. Kokernot's Alpine Cowboys until he was signed by the Milwaukee Braves in 1956. He pitched for the Braves in their farm system for a few years before realizing the baseball biz wasn't likely to support his growing family. Oh, how times have changed.

Opening Day always opens the memory floodgates of our family baseball lore. There's the tawdry yet amusing shenanigans of baseball wives (told by my mom - about other wives, natch - Dad claims no knowledge of any such goings on). Mom does wish we'd quit telling about the time she dashed out of her seat to dodge an incoming foul ball tip, leaving me behind, an innocent, gormless infant,  blissfully unaware of the 70 mph cowhide-wrapped bullet of death about to rain down on my head. Handy tip: foul tips are possibly the lone disadvantage of players' wives getting those great seats behind the home dugout.

I'm thrilled to be able to show you the hilarious grainy video of the players milking cows on the mound as a publicity stunt. Luckily for my dad, he was a country boy born and raised. He knew his way around a set of udders just as well as he did a baseball diamond.

I am able to share with you an example of the requisite yellowed newspaper clippings like the one here, bragging up my dad as 'the big righthander' and 'fireballer' and the pitcher of not one but TWO shutouts in post-season play as a highschooler. Ain't no thang. Just two shutouts. In two appearances. Probably in the same week. Yawn.

This is why, at the Jones household, we understand why the baseball pitcher's arm is considered the most valuable body part in professional sports. This is why the Rangers' devastating loss to the Cardinals in the sixth game of the 2011 World Series still gets me a little choked up (we will not speak of this *sniff*). And this is why I'm so freakin' pumped for baseball season to start. Got the hat. Got the shirt. Got the remote. Let the games begin.

Dad and I paying homage to another Brave Eau Claire WI 1999

A version of this article first appeared in the 2016 A to Z Blog Challenge.

As we browse the headlines this time of year, it is not unusual to find biblical phrases such as 'immaculate' and 'miraculous'. And indeed there are those occasional events that defy logic, defy science, defy everything we know about human possibility. Yes, I am talking about the 40th anniversary of Franco Harris' Immaculate Reception. The controversial play is considered one of the most famous in NFL history. Harris' delicate fingertip catch and subsequent bolt to the end zone gave his Pittsburgh Steelers the win over the hated Oakland Raiders. Although the Steelers lost the AFC championship game to the Dolphins the following week, The Steelers went on to dominate the game for years afterward.

Roger 'The Dodger' Staubach, hero of my youth

The Immaculate Reception is just one of many athletic events compared with the miraculous. The Hail Mary pass has long been a staple of football, only used in the most desperate situations, risking everything in hopes that the right receiver is fast enough and tall enough to make it down field in time to catch a ball that is floated up there, well, on a wing and a prayer (since we have come this far with the religious metaphors). Originated in the 1930s, the term 'Hail Mary' cemented its place in NFL history when Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach used it to describe his game winning pass to Drew Pearson in a 1975 playoff game against the Vikings. Apparently Aaron Rodgers is a fan of this strategy. His recent Hail Mary to close out the first half of their wildcard playoff against the Giants took my breath away.

There is another famous play involving the Cowboys, but since it doesn't have a snappy catch phrase and since it caused the Cowboys to lose and therefore is disqualified from miracle status, no sense mentioning it here, amirite?

Football also brings us

  • the Miracle Bowl (1980 Holiday Bowl Brigham Young vs SMU which also included a Hail Mary by BYU to win the game)
  • the Music City Miracle (2000 AFC playoff game Titans vs Bills), featuring the Titans winning in the remaining seconds using a trick lateral play on a kick-off return
  • additional Miracles at
    • Michigan (1994 - Colorado Buffaloes defeat Michigan Wolverines at home in the final seconds with - you guessed it - a 70 yard, intentionally deflected Hail Mary)
    • Mississippi (2007 game between two no-name D3 schools, ending the final two seconds with a 60-yard run made possible by the use of 15 different lateral passes)
    • The Meadowlands (Philadelphia Eagles defeat New York Giants at home in 1978 due to boneheaded play calling and a fumble recovery resulting in a touchdown)
Basketball God

Religious hyperbole is not limited to professional football. In a 1986 FIFA World Cup soccer match between Argentina and England, Argentina's Diego Maradona scored a goal known as the Hand of God goal. He named it thusly when explaining how it happened, saying it was due to a little of his work and a little help from above. Most observers agree it was more Maradona's hand, but he branded it well, and Hand of God it remains.

The NBA brings us not just one supernatural limb, but the whole enchilada. After a
1986 Celtics-Bulls playoff game, none other than Celtic Larry Bird said of his opponent's 63 point performance, "He is the most exciting, awesome player in the game today. I think it's just God disguised as Michael Jordan."

And what about the 2001 Miracle Flip by Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter? The Yankees needed a win against Oakland to keep their playoff hopes alive. They got it when Jeter dashed across the field to the first base line to retrieve a relayed ball from the outfield, then neatly flipped it to the catcher to prevent Jason Giambi from scoring.

Hockey provides us with the Miracle on Ice, underdog USA's now-famous defeat of hockey world powerhouse Russia during the 1980 Winter Olympics. The win sent the USA to the finals, where they defeated Finland for the gold medal.

All this talk of higher powers has me pumped up for some more supernatural displays. Too little, too late for my Cowboys against the miraculous Aaron Rodgers and his Packers (which he won in the final seconds with another near-miracle pass, bless his heart).  Here's to my Rangers making a miracle happen for me in October instead.