Hello, my name is Lissa, and I am a knowledge-a-holic.
I have been thinking lately that I have an issue with spending way too much time online. I plan to troubleshoot this problem by applying what is left of my brainpower.
What exactly is the big draw? Initially, I blamed my love of technology in most of its forms. I love my smart phone. So handy for so many little tasks! I love my microwave, without which my family would starve. I love GPS. I loved maps before, but the time savings (and no need for folding skills) with GPS is ridiculous! I love my satellite dish. Think about how that works - up in space, whirling round and round our planet, invisibly delivering massive amounts of viewing choices to millions of people 24/7. Speaking of which, I love my TV's remote control. It's not that I object to walking over to the TV to change the channel. But with hundreds of channels all programmed to show commercials at exactly the same time, standing there with your finger on the TV's channel button until you find something worth watching is just not an option.
I love all of these things and more, but it's the Internet that is killing me. I love all of my smart devices, but if it were not for the Internet, I would definitely not have a dead booty and a permanent kink behind my right shoulder blade from sitting in front of a screen all the dang day.
Think about it: without the Internet, how much time would you spend on your laptop/phone/tablet? It's the Internet, with all of this more or less infinite knowledge within literal reach, that keeps me chained to the desk. I am a knowledge junkie. I cannot get enough. So I sit here and ruin my health ('sitting is the new smoking') when I should be out taking the air and otherwise interacting with Mother Nature or other human beings.
Do you know the scene from The Fifth Element where Mila Jovovich's character, Leeloo, is catching up on 5000 years of human history by absorbing knowledge as images on the computer screen zip by? My idea of heaven! But I fear another fictional scenario may be more likely. It's only a matter of time until I turn up like that dude in a Stephen King short story, who spent so much time on his computer that gradually its wires burrowed into his body, and they became permanently entwined.
There's no way I am ready to give up my addiction. I haven't hit bottom yet. If only you could see what I see every day. Recent bounty included these tidbits:
- Long before the Steelers and Cowboys and Chargers ruled the gridiron, there was an early NFL team called the Oorang Indians whose sole purpose was to promote the purchase of Airedale terriers.
- One of the suspects in an infamous art gallery heist from the 1970s was the brother of comedian Louie Anderson.
- Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR volcanoes erupted at the same time in Kamchatka.
- Hollywood agent Swifty Lazar was so cheap he ordered out sandwiches for his first Oscar Night party rather than feed his guests from the Bistro restaurant's menu.
I love info like Smaug loves his gold
Random? Sure. And each factoid has oodles of factoid-lets oh so ripe for the plucking. Dig a little deeper and you will find more info, and more, and more, an endless supply, more than any human brain could ever process. And it's just about as close to 'free' as you can get. I can wallow in this stuff all day long without spending a penny. I know the economists among you are out there waving your arms and shouting 'opportunity cost!', but I choose to ignore you since this is, after all, my blog.
The flow of information is not going to stop, and I'm not going to stop wallowing. So my only alternative is to turn this vice into something productive, channel it, control it. That way, I can rationalize all that time I spend BIC (Butt In Chair), or even (dare I hope?) allow myself even more BIC time. Hey, maybe this blog thing could be part of the solution. Definitely needs more research!
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