The Sky Is Falling

We have all been forced to sit through a class that we knew in our hearts we would never, ever use again once the final exam hit the teacher's desk about 15 seconds before the door hit our fannies on our way out of the classroom for the last time. Sadly, I have more than one. Currently, Introduction to Logic is the longest reigning king of my list. It has been 30+ years, and I haven't used it once. I must admit I am disappointed, because I am a great fan of logic (lower case l). But this class was upper case L aka Philosophy and that's how they getcha, otherwise no one would ever sign up for this class. Thankfully, there are a couple of others on my list that were pleasant surprises, in that I actually find myself using them occasionally.

Latin, for instance. I took four years of Latin in high school to avoid taking a language class that required much in the way of speaking said language. Work Smarter, Not Harder is my motto. Imagine my surprise when Latin turned out to be a class I use just about every day. It is very handy for sniffing out puzzling word meanings and thrashing opponents in the Words With Friends app. Physics and Geometry - also very useful when playing tennis and shooting pool. Fencing - well, maybe not that useful, but way fun.

The dark horse in my lame class recitation is not only lame, it is beyond obscure: Historiography. Never heard of it? Go ahead and Google or read a few more lines here. The added irony: this is a class I thought would be very useful when I was working on my masters in history and planning a career in academia. I will wait for you to stop laughing at the time and money I wasted on that degree.

Historiography should be renamed Skeptics 101. Basically it teaches you how to be a credible researcher, how to sort the shine from the Shinola. I wish I could remember the professor's name but alas. In any case he was great - just the right combination of knowledge, credibility, and accessibility. He was friendly, but not so chummy you would mistake him for an equal. Professor X taught us to be skeptical of everything we read. Consider the source! and What is their bias? were our mantras. Extra credit was given for those who perfected the Stink-Eye.

My planned career in academia went off the tracks almost immediately. But Professor X's training to question everything has stuck with me ever since. And, thanks to the Internet, I find myself using it frequently. Sweet Mother of Pearl, has there ever been such an overload of panicked Senders sending piles of pathetic pigswill?

Sadly, the folks at Snopes.com robbed me of the chance to turn my Skeptic Skills into a myth-busting, multi-million-dollar IPO. But they have also saved me a ton of Googling. Now all I have to do is put my Skeptic Skills to work. If anything gets forwarded or posted to me that doesn't pass the Smell Test (in case Stink-Eye is on the blink), off to Snopes we go, and the problem, she is solved.

In case you were standing behind a door when they were handing out Historiography class registrations, I will hook you up with some top takeaways. In emails and Facebook posts, there are a couple of dead giveaways for complete hokum. Anything containing the following phrases should be ignored/deleted immediately without costing you any additional time of clicking over to Snopes.

"Send this to everyone you know . . . "

"If you agree, post this to your profile . . ."

"Curious to see how many will actually read to the end of this post . . ."

"Click here for a free ______" (especially true if the 'free' item is valued at more than $20)

Occasionally the posts are better disguised with an iota of factual content, and there is a reasonable doubt the story may have some validity. Usually not, but when in doubt . . . Snopes! Here are a couple of examples. See if you can choose the one that is 100% authentic.

True, or Complete Nonsense?

1. Credit card users, beware! If you buy your gas at the pump with a credit card, be sure to press the 'CLEAR' button at the end of  your transaction. Otherwise, your credit card is vulnerable to additional purchases.

2. Hard-to-digest materials such as chewing gum and red meat are to be avoided at all costs. They can accumulate, rotting in the gut, leading to weight gain and disease.

3. Hate the dollar coins? This may give you reason to love them. Millions of Sacagawea dollar coins were given away in boxes of Cheerios when the coin debuted in 2000. Their design is slightly different from those put into direct circulation and are now worth thousands each.

Drum roll please . . . .

The Answers:

1. False - the glimmer of true content is that unscrupulous convenience store employees have been known to steal your credit card information by a variety of means. But the CLEAR button on the pump has nothing to do with it, and will not prevent said theft. If the store or pump has been compromised, there is little you can do about it other than file a claim with your credit card company. More details here.

2. False - or, as one website says, complete crap 🙂 Unless a person has a digestive ailment or is taking drugs that slow digestion, the human digestive system is pretty straightforward. What goes in one end, comes out the other. Sometimes fully digested, sometimes not (see Corn and Peanuts), but it comes out. Lots of scientific sites debunk this myth. I will let you take your pick by Googling "digestion myths red meat".

3. True - I bet you thought I was going to trick you and make all three of them urban legends. Apparently the tail feathers of the eagle on the back of the coin have more detail. These coins are worth anywhere from $5000-$25000 each.

So people please, PLEASE (yes I am begging you) do a little research before bombarding (annoying) your friends with random bits of Internet flotsam. Lord knows we all waste enough time staring at the great glass teat. Stop sending garbage, and maybe at least a little bit of that staring will be a little less of a waste.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, I hope you'll take a minute to subscribe to my blog (the subscribe box is near the top of the right sidebar).